The Gift of Friendship from College Soccer

 I first met her when I was given a list of phone numbers to call for our college soccer team. She answered the phone and we chatted like we'd been best friends forever. She joined us and we played soccer together that year but remained friends forever. Ashley was one of the kindest people I've ever met in my life. Her family, an extension of the kindness she extended to me and my family. I miss Sheri's meals, her cookies, good company and the painting sessions we had at her place. 

Ashley called me one morning not too long ago and I answered the phone. "Well, mom died." She said. I cried with her for a long time. Sheri was a great teacher and poured her beautiful heart out to all of the students she lead. She was very well loved and respected. Ashley poured her beautiful heart out into the life of her mother. They loved and respected one another deeply. Their relationship was beautiful, authentic and full of good fruit.

I thought before and after Sheri's passing Ashley would travel the world, she would have children, we would live to be old lady friends, because that's the type of friend Ashely was, a forever friend. A four leaf clover out of a field of three leaf clovers. She was very sad after Sheri's death and leaned into her family as she lost the center of her world when she lost her mother. It was where she wanted to be, with her family, her grandparents, her dad, her brothers and their children. 

I remember the UCLA games we attended together. Swimming in the Sacramento River, camping on the beach shores in San Diego, dancing at her cousin Paige's wedding, hiking in Las Vegas, camping in Hana while looking out onto the stars in the beautiful sky. Conversations full of deep belly laughter, authentic prayer and thanksgiving. Dedicating ourselves to the almighty under the fresh mountain water, cleansing and rejuvenating our weariness, every hike we could. Painting sessions with a blank canvas, not quite knowing what to paint but making the best we could. 

I remember we, with our entrepreneurial spirits, tried to sell our paintings. Not one of them sold. We laughed about it afterward, sort of embarrassed we'd even thought they were worthy of selling. I believed hers were well worth it and she believed mine were well worth it. She helped me believe in myself, to keep my faith and to love the ones I love even more than I thought possible. 

I awaited her holiday greetings to program her phone number into my new phone. Our life seemed to fall apart during the week of Thanksgiving. I couldn't return to work because I was ill. My children were ill and our life changed after that week. At the end of December, I fell when I was playing soccer and my ankle injury is still trying to heal. I received a text message from Ashley's twin brother this January talking about her memorial service. She died on Thanksgiving, he told me. I called him in complete disbelief. We sobbed. I'm so sorry to Ashley's family and hope they're filled with comfort and peace.

Rest in peace to Ashley Polan, one of the best friends I could've ever asked for. I know you're flying with God and you will be loved and missed forever. Thank you for the gift of friendship.