In His Wings

 Dr. Farhad Sateri, my cousin's dad passed away on January 12th, served in the U.S. Army in the medical corps, was a Major and was an important person to our entire family. He is now reunited with his son, my cousin Kevin in the wings of the almighty. Thank you for being such a tremendous blessing to us and may you rest in peace. 

1. "Acknowledge your feelings: Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up, whether it's sadness, anger, confusion, or numbness. Trying to suppress or ignore your feelings can make them more intense in the long run. Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.

2. Seek support: Lean on friends, family members, or a support network for comfort and understanding. Talking about your feelings with others who care about you can provide validation, empathy, and a sense of connection during difficult times.

3. Take care of yourself: Make self-care a priority, even when it feels challenging. Try to maintain a healthy routine with regular exercise, nutritious meals, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can help you cope better with stress and sadness.

4. Engage in activities that bring you comfort: Find solace in activities that you enjoy and that help distract you from your grief, even if only temporarily. This could be spending time outdoors, listening to music, reading a book, or engaging in hobbies and interests that bring you joy.

5. Consider seeking professional help: If you're struggling to cope with your grief or if it's significantly impacting your daily functioning, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for support. Professional guidance can provide you with coping strategies, emotional support, and a safe space to process your feelings.

6. Give yourself time: Remember that healing from loss takes time, and there's no right or wrong timeline for grieving. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to experience the ups and downs of the grieving process as they come."

Technique Breakdown

I learned while coaching AYSO (we have to take lots of free training classes to coach AYSO) pieces of valuable information that, although I've played soccer my entire life, I didn't know the information. One of these pieces of information included off the ball movement. When on defense, the team moves toward the center of the field and pinches in the middle as to block out any possible breakthrough in front of the goal. The defense moves together, as a unit, across the area of the mouth of the goal, defending the ball, but remains tightly knit. This is the type of information that as soccer players, we just know, but when we learn about it, a different perspective emerges. 

When moving from the half line toward the goal on offense, the team then makes creative wide runs and opens up the space of the field. In each direction, the off the ball movement makes all the difference in the world. On defense, it's important to keep on your toes and push the other team in the direction you want them to go (away from the goal). The team moves together and has complete awareness of where the opposition is in order to keep forwards and attacking midfielders marked. On the other side of the field, the team works together, creating space and connections in order to score. The movement up up top is quick and the team needs to meet the ball where it is, go to it, rather than waiting for it. 

I learned to respect AYSO more than I ever have. Not only is that where the fun of soccer emerges, but it keeps up with all of the current trends and practices of soccer, the new rules and guidelines. The focus is beautiful and that is that everyone plays, creating an inclusive environment and welcoming to people as the United States is welcoming to people. These methods and coaching practices move the game of soccer into what we love about it. I've yet to explore the youth clubs but have just began that adventure and am looking forward to what each has to offer our children, including clubs around the world. 

Asher Dasher

 I remember running up and down the stands of the soccer field with Ashley during the off season. She made me want to be a better person, a better friend, a better mother and just the best possible version of myself that I can possibly be. She was honest and saw the best in everyone she knew. Her work ethic on the soccer field was brilliant. She was fierce and fair. She was one of the most generous people I've ever met in my life. Generous with her time, talent and gifts. 

One of my friends from H.S. posted a picture for a goddess project she was doing and I couldn't help but think it looked like Ashley embracing her mom in such a beautiful and peaceful setting. I wanted to send it to Ashley to show her how much her mom is still loving her. I decided I'd paint it or sketch it for her to help her heal. Maybe it was to bring me comfort and peace about her passing because I didn't even know she was probably embracing her mom already. 

She loved this song.

The Gift of Friendship from College Soccer

 I first met her when I was given a list of phone numbers to call for our college soccer team. She answered the phone and we chatted like we'd been best friends forever. She joined us and we played soccer together that year but remained friends forever. Ashley was one of the kindest people I've ever met in my life. Her family, an extension of the kindness she extended to me and my family. I miss Sheri's meals, her cookies, good company and the painting sessions we had at her place. 

Ashley called me one morning not too long ago and I answered the phone. "Well, mom died." She said. I cried with her for a long time. Sheri was a great teacher and poured her beautiful heart out to all of the students she lead. She was very well loved and respected. Ashley poured her beautiful heart out into the life of her mother. They loved and respected one another deeply. Their relationship was beautiful, authentic and full of good fruit.

I thought before and after Sheri's passing Ashley would travel the world, she would have children, we would live to be old lady friends, because that's the type of friend Ashely was, a forever friend. A four leaf clover out of a field of three leaf clovers. She was very sad after Sheri's death and leaned into her family as she lost the center of her world when she lost her mother. It was where she wanted to be, with her family, her grandparents, her dad, her brothers and their children. 

I remember the UCLA games we attended together. Swimming in the Sacramento River, camping on the beach shores in San Diego, dancing at her cousin Paige's wedding, hiking in Las Vegas, camping in Hana while looking out onto the stars in the beautiful sky. Conversations full of deep belly laughter, authentic prayer and thanksgiving. Dedicating ourselves to the almighty under the fresh mountain water, cleansing and rejuvenating our weariness, every hike we could. Painting sessions with a blank canvas, not quite knowing what to paint but making the best we could. 

I remember we, with our entrepreneurial spirits, tried to sell our paintings. Not one of them sold. We laughed about it afterward, sort of embarrassed we'd even thought they were worthy of selling. I believed hers were well worth it and she believed mine were well worth it. She helped me believe in myself, to keep my faith and to love the ones I love even more than I thought possible. 

I awaited her holiday greetings to program her phone number into my new phone. Our life seemed to fall apart during the week of Thanksgiving. I couldn't return to work because I was ill. My children were ill and our life changed after that week. At the end of December, I fell when I was playing soccer and my ankle injury is still trying to heal. I received a text message from Ashley's twin brother this January talking about her memorial service. She died on Thanksgiving, he told me. I called him in complete disbelief. We sobbed. I'm so sorry to Ashley's family and hope they're filled with comfort and peace.

Rest in peace to Ashley Polan, one of the best friends I could've ever asked for. I know you're flying with God and you will be loved and missed forever. Thank you for the gift of friendship.

Community and Soccer Socials

 Soccer unites. 

Watching my Dad and his team play soccer every weekend when we were growing up was an education of its own. The team stayed the same mostly year after year. They had tournaments and their normal league games where we met lots of different kids. The kids from the team are who we always played with. We made the best memories. I miss those days we thought would never end as children. 

I think about what I can give to my children now that they will appreciate when they get older. What did we like as kids? The consistent weekend games, giving us something to look so much forward to every week. It's important to strive towards having something to look forward to. 

I went to an Empire Strykers game after learning I can log in and watch the live games via Twitch. It was a clear view and a fun space to chat about soccer. I'm so thankful to be able to gain access to soccer games like this. 

"There are players are from all over the world." Amazing what Google translate can do. 

Women Empowerment

My first college soccer coach was a woman. It was a coaching team of women actually. Prior to those years in college I'd only had male soccer coaches, except for my mom coaching us in AYSO. To have a woman as my coach was exciting and comforting. She pushed me to be the best I could be on and off of the field. I have tremendous respect for her and the coaching staff. We are seeing more women coaches these days. Having women coaches brings a different dynamic to the game. Of course now it's normal for women to coach women but what will the shift be like when women coach men? 

The first time I've ever entertained the thought of coaching men is when I became a mother of sons. What would the response be like? 

I have just started learning about the new USWNT coach and am excited to continue to learn about her. I watched a video of her speaking for a Football Writers Association ceremony and have hope for the USWNT with her as coach. 

It's exciting to see women's teams strengthen from all around the world and strive toward equality. 

"At the pinnacle of women's soccer, events like the FIFA Women's World Cup serve as catalysts for progress and empowerment. These tournaments showcase the skill, athleticism, and determination of female players on the world stage, challenging stereotypes and breaking barriers in the process. 

Yet, despite significant strides, disparities between men's and women's soccer persist, including unequal pay, limited resources, and unequal opportunities. Efforts to address these disparities and promote gender equality in soccer are ongoing, with advocates pushing for greater investment, visibility, and representation for female players at all levels of the game." 

- Chat GPT

Penalty Shots

 Man are penalty shots nerve racking. It's such a humdrum way to end a soccer game, yet probably majority of soccer players have had to take a penalty shot a few times in their career. 

I remember the penalty shots I had to take like a blur from the past. 

I pole vaulted and long jumped for track and field and ice skated so I became accustomed to the pressure of the individual moment in a team sport. 

I learned to shoot really hard and into the corner of the goal. 

I learned to know exactly where I was going to shoot the ball before walking up to the goal... decided during practice and practiced repeatedly until I felt confident about it. 

I tried once, to choose a different spot on the spot before a penalty kick and when the ball went wide I decided ritual is best in the penalty kick scenario. 

I'm pretty sure I cried when I missed the shot. I cried a lot. 

My dad told me, if you give 100% effort in every game, you're going to feel good about it no matter the outcome. 

That's the truth. If you give 100% effort, you know you gave it the best you could. 

Even if I gave 100% effort and the outcome was not in our favor, I still cried sometimes. 

I wanted to win every single game.