Grand Prix

So many thoughts racing through my head like the Grand Prix. It's hard to know what to focus on first but the baby helps me with that. At just the right time, when my head starts spinning and I lose my direction, he wakes from his sleeping slumber or his peaceful state and shifts my focus onto him. I feed him and remember to eat and drink water myself. Everything slows down for a few minutes and life seems more bearable. My list of things to do for the day is mostly unattended to but the one or two things I do accomplish I am so grateful for. I have a brand new human life teaching me on a daily basis. I learn what is the most important and how to attend to my daily tasks with grace and ease, knowing I simply can't accomplish all that I want to in the span of one day. I learn that representing others requires a selfless nature. I am learning to let go a bit more and re-learn everything I thought I knew. It is liberating and necessary. He reminds me in his vulnerability that vulnerability is endearing. He reminds me in just being that the essence of people is good. When in the presence of a baby, people want to hold them because they know how they like to be held. People like to hug and kiss him and hold his hand, because they understand the power of an innocent touch. People like to speak words of kindness to him and about him because they know how it feels to love. When he cries and can't communicate nor find relief from his discomfort, frustration sets in. Perhaps this type of frustration stems from feelings of rejection. He reminds me of what it's like to feel human. He helps me to understand and accept parts of humanity that are not friendly in terms of the world, but can be more readily accepted from the eyes of a child. Like the moon shines in darkness and shows up every night, and the sun rises every day, he brings me light. My heart is thankful. Suzie Sateri