Hugs and Hand Holding

"Can I pet your dog?" The toddler said to me. 

"Yes you may. Thank you for asking." Was my reply. 

I stood there as my dog went on her back in her most vulnerable position to get belly scratches from the little ones. 

"Pet her belly (I showed an example of the way to pet her as in a way not to pet her privates)." 

She was thrilled to get love and attention. 

I was exhausted and my son was still asking for my attention. As I was trying to get him to go to sleep I reached a moment where I was at the end of my rope (so to speak). At that moment, he found my hand with his hand and he held my hand and went to sleep. The feeling of holding his tiny hand in mine was worth every frustrating moment leading up to that one. 

My son has just started school and the first few days have been really hard for me. I've struggled with the decisions of whether or not to send him. My original plan was to write curriculum for Disneyland and educate him alongside me and my younger son with the new curriculum. I want him also, to make friends and develop meaningful relationships in a safe environment outside of our family so ultimately decided to send him to school. Every day he's wanted to stay with me and I love having him around. When I met him at the gate after school he approached me with a heartfelt smile and gave me a sweet hug hello. 

Whose Voice is it Anyway

If you ever reach a point in your life when you feel like you just can't face another day, listen to the voice inside of your head of someone you love saying to you, "I love you".

And when the voices of fear and negativity get louder, drown them with that little voice saying, "I love you", until you get closer and closer to it.

Even if all you do all day and all night is listen to the small voice saying, "I love you", you've done what you needed to.

Drown the voices of fear, doubt, insecurity and negativity to make that little voice that says, " I love you" louder, until it's the only one you can hear.

When it's the only one you can hear, begin to pray a prayer of thanks for that little voice that says, "I love you" and realize you're loved and you're needed more than you can understand.

Pray for guidance to understand how you can be helping that little voice.

That little voice that says, "I love you"...

It could be the voice of God living inside of you.

Baby Blues

You and I are babies.
When I realized that, I realized what true love means.

Us together, our parents treat us like their babies.
They don't give themselves to us as they do when we're together.

How much we love each other... truly.

Our love is at the soul level.

Bound not by time or people...
but forming together in time, by people.
I love that... how our loved ones see a future in us, for us.

We’re learning what true love is.

We give one another the freedom to be who we truly are, in each moment.
Bound not by time or people...
But forming together in time, by people.

We’re given time and space to become what we're striving to be... together.

True love.

Suzie Sateri

John Legend - All of Me (Edited Video)

Your Name Changed

I didn't realize it was you, it's always been you.
The stars have been guiding our hearts to see.

I didn't realize at the time.
At least not to my knowledge.

But I look at you now.
I look at you when you wear me.

It's you who has believed in me all along.
It's you who has carried me through.

That's how you feel.
I didn't know back then.

I missed you so much.
You lifted me.

I didn't realize at the time.
I let the light guide me.

Your wings looked so different.
But I loved them still.

Now I look at you when you wear me.
You're a strong man mostly thanks to my Mother.

Suzie Sateri

Golden Son

You’re always on my mind. 

I think someone is fine
my eyes want to look with amazement
When I catch a glimpse of you
realize you’re the one I want to look at more. 

I see that smile light up your face
The one that made me like your person
from the first moment we met. 

I see you and wonder
when I’m with you
Am I sleeping or awake
The lines just stay blurry
raising our children together. 

We love to see you smile
our children and I
We understand those smiles erupt
when true happiness occurs. 

The Gift

This is probably the first year I've ever known what I wanted to get my Mom for her Birthday. My sons and I walked into the shop to the area I knew it was. I asked for the price and was given the answer. "Can I have it?" I asked, delighted it was within the budget I set for her gift.

The man referred to it as the best in the world and I thought to myself, yes, it is.

When I left the shop I thought about what he said. I wondered if he was reading aloud what I thought about it. Yes, I do think it's the best thing in the world.

My son asked, "Can I give it to Grandma?"
I replied, "Yes".
He smiled, "I'm excited and nervous to give it to her."
I smile with more than just my mouth.

Suzie Sateri