Lunar New Year

My Baby

I have dialogue in my mind. Often. And sometimes I ramble on and on to myself and I begin to laugh out loud. My son asks, "Mom, what are you laughing about?" And I tell him about whatever it is I'm thinking. He belts out one solid laugh while I watch him raise his head and close his eyes in the rear view mirror with the funny thought. He then begins to match my thoughts with some of his own. Sometimes we laugh for a long time together. I love those moments. I live for those moments.

The 2019 New Year

The New Year is approaching which means it's time to create or expand our resolutions. I sat today to jot down a few ideas and it made me feel good about the upcoming year. I reflected on the work I've done and the work I plan to continue and develop. Now I'm starting to refine my ideas and welcome the New Year with excitement for what is to come and gratitude for what has been.

Suzie Sateri

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It's just me typing as fast as I can while trying to not overthink what I wanted to write.
About the way we talk to ourselves.
I'm hearing the way you're talking to yourself, the way I'm talking to myself.
Let's just continue with the illusion of happiness until we experience moments of it.
And until then, make the voices we are speaking to ourselves with into doves.

Suzie Sateri

Dear Mom and Dad

I remember a conversation we had a long time ago. You were talking to me about how disappointed you were with me and you asked what you did to deserve that.
I was just thinking, visualizing a moment in the future where you are being treated better than the most loved baby thinking, what did I do to deserve this.

Rainy Days

I remember a few days from when I was a kid when I just didn't want to go to school. Because I lived one street over from my elementary school I actually walked home during school one of those days and I climbed in the kitchen window to have some peace and solitude. I'm pretty sure I returned to school without anyone knowing I was even gone.
On those types of days I'd go to my teachers and talk to them about what I was going through. Whether they agreed it was my fault or not, talking to them seemed to help. I could be honest about what I was going through and receive a safe response. The strength and honesty in their feedback gave me the courage I needed to either apologize or make amends.
Many times we've seen accounts close, people saying bye and cutting off communication with others. I remember those types of emotions like I climbed in the kitchen window yesterday. I guess some days are going to be like that for the rest of our existence.
What I do know and recognize still, are the people who help us along the way. The teachers we learned from and those we follow, looking forward to a hug from mom or dad, going to soccer practice or playing with the neighbors... the reasons we have to think we can endure the days that are hard for us to get through.

Suzie Sateri

Rest In Peace George H. W. Bush