My Voice

I don't know if I want to use my voice as much as I should because without my mom I sound like nails on a chalkboard.

Dave Matthews Band Summer Tour Warm Up - Loving Wings 9.6.15

Pretty Momma

You're so pretty and what's so pretty about you is that you don't know how pretty you are. 

Maybe sometimes you realize but probably not often enough. 

I remember looking up at your face when I was a child. 

You looked like the prettiest lady I could ever imagine. 

When you smiled at me you touched my soul for a lifetime. 

I loved you from that moment on. 

I saw how much you loved me by the look on your face. 

I remember the moment so well. 

It was just like something from a movie. 

You were dressed up so beautiful. 

When I looked at you recently I realized who you are. 

Because of that look.

Except it was a little bit different this time. 

The smile on your face wasn't as big but it was just as genuine and heartfelt. 

It was a really deep one that you worked hard for. 

You had no idea how gorgeous you are. 

Your skin looked as porcelain as a newborn baby. 

The way your soul is so gentle shined through. 

That's just how you are. 

It's how you've always been. 

You're so pretty to me Momma.  

"Skinny Love" - Birdy

Human Tendencies

Sometimes my babies show me who they are.
Sometimes my parents show me who they are.
My friends are starting to show me who they are.
Not my dogs though, those bitches.

Little by little, I'm learning about myself and others with a different perspective.
A brand new one sometimes.

Some bring out the best in me.
Some bring out the worst.
Some my crazy.
Some my sexy.

Good news, we're human.

I know you like it when I just type whatever is in my mind and on my heart even if it makes no sense at all.
I love that you encourage that type of work from me.
It's my favorite kind.

Just like you are. My favorite kind. My favorite cup of tea, my favorite donuts, my favorite coffee, my favorite conversation, my favorite laughter, my favorite smiles, my favorite babysitter, my favorite voice, my favorite.

Now come over and make fun of me about how chaotic my writing is.
Then look at my room, my wardrobe, my desk, my bed. Notice how consistent that chaos is.
Then laugh about it when you think about it because I know you will.
And just the thought of you smiling and laughing makes me feel happy.

Sometimes I just feel like sitting in the Trump towers and watching people.
Watching the gentlemen I so love.
Watching people watch us.
Watching people love.
Watching people.

Then just writing about it and looking at the chandeliers.
And thinking about the future, about the past and the present.
With my quiet observing eyes of a child.

Then coming home to my garden to watch the bluish purple butterflies circling the rose seeds I can't wait to see bloom.
I imagine how they will look.
How they will produce beauty that will inspire me to look as beautiful as them.

Maybe beautiful like a Japanese bell.

My Babies My Soul

Having a baby is something that is really exciting on both ends of the spectrum. What I mean by that is it's both nerve racking and heavenly. A baby, I like to think, is a gift of wisdom in a tiny little body. It's a human form of two people combined into one person. It's a gift to have the chance to observe wisdom in it's purest and truest form. Babies encourage all of us to be better people.

You Remember

When you feel like you're at the end of your rope you remember me.
Remember how you threw it to me and I hung on to it like my life depended on it.
You remember how heavy that weight felt when you wanted to let go and know that you pulled me through.
You remember I'm going to tie a knot on it for you and watch as you glide practically weightless through the air and into nirvana with a smile on the face of my soul.

Suzie Sateri